SG-1 Fic: The Battle Within Title: The Battle Within Rating PG Pairing: None Summary: A young girl is taken as a host and Jack deals with the aftermath when he helps her escape. Author's Notes: I wanted to write a story based on the POV of the host of a Goa'uld, and this story was born.
The Battle Within Chapter 1
She heard them before she saw them and hope sprang up in her heart – she had to hang on just a little longer. She knew that this was her last chance, the beast within her was getting stronger with every new dawn, and she knew that she would soon lose the battle she was waging with it.
Her footsteps were loud as she ran toward the people near the Chappa’ai, but she didn’t care. This was what she wanted and she propelled herself forward even as she heard the angry whispers in her mind. The beast was young, too young to be able to take full control over her body, but she knew that it wouldn’t be long before she was a complete slave to it. The whispers continued, demanding, pleading, struggling to take control, but she fought it with all her might.
Her flight took her within a short distance from the Chappa’ai, and she almost cried with relief when the people who had come through it turned on her with their weapons. “You must help me,” she said, as she held her hand out to the man standing in front, his weapon aimed at her heart. “Please!”
“What’s wrong?” the man asked, his eyes taking in her appearance. She knew that what he was seeing was a young woman dressed in a dirty, torn shirt and long pants, her hair disheveled. She had been working alongside her mother, tending to the garden, when the Jaffa showed up, intent on taking what they thought was rightfully theirs to take, hosts for their gods.
She was chosen despite her mother’s efforts of hiding her and she was dragged off through the dirt, kicking and screaming, to join the others who had been chosen.
“Help me,” she said again. The beast was angry, fighting for control and she despaired when it won. She was a prisoner again. Her heart sped up, though, when the strangers brought their weapons back up. They knew they were facing the enemy. She wondered how they knew the beast had taken over, but then remembered that the eyes of the host glowed when a Goa’uld was in control. She couldn’t help the feeling of elation that flowed through her, as she realized that the Goa’uld was going to accomplish exactly what she had hoped for – death by the strangers.
The beast had different ideas though and called out to the one member of the group that would help it. “Jaffa!” she heard her own voice say. “Kree! Why do these slaves have weapons? You will take their weapons and accompany me back to join with the others.” The Jaffa did not reply nor did he lower his weapon. “Jaffa!” the beast shouted, forcing her to move forward.
‘You will not win,’ she told the beast, her words echoing in her mind, bouncing off of the words the beast snarled back at her. ‘They will kill us,’ she added. ‘You will see.’
“Jaffa!” the beast screamed out again, refusing to give up. The Jaffa reacted by engaging his staff weapon, which was still aimed at her. “Shol’vah!” the beast snarled.
“Stay back!” the man who appeared to be the leader of the group yelled out.
“We come in peace,” said another man in the group who had moved to stand next to the leader. “To whom are we speaking?”
“Daniel,” the leader said, as if warning the other man.
“You will bow before me,” demanded the beast, completely ignoring the banter between the two slaves, although it did stop moving forward. “I am your God!”
“Not in this lifetime,” said the leader sardonically.
“You are a false god,” the Jaffa said as he stared at her. She knew what she had to do, but the beast would not give in to her demands. The beast was strong, but it was still young, too young to hold control for long. All she had to do was wait for it to either get them killed or give control back to her so that she could make sure they killed her. She was determined that she would not be a slave and a prisoner to the beast.
“You will obey me!” the beast shouted. It was weakening; she could feel it, and she rejoiced as she realized that it wouldn’t be long before she would have control again.
The Shol’vah continued to aim his weapon at her and she wondered what it was she needed to do to make him shoot her. The beast snarled at her as she harbored these thoughts, but she didn’t listen to it. Instead she continued to think about a course of action to achieve her needs; she needed to convince the strangers to kill her. It was the only way.
The beast, however, had come up with a plan of its own and forced her to turn and run away from the strangers. She was helpless to stop it and she began to despair even as she consciously tried to take control of her actions again. She didn’t have to struggle for too long though, as the beast suddenly released its control, giving her the freedom to choose her own destiny, if only for the moment.
She turned abruptly and ran back toward the strangers, stopping only long enough to pick up some rocks. Surely they would kill her if they thought she was trying to hurt them. She hurled one of the rocks at the leader when she came upon him, smiling when it hit him in the shoulder. He yelled as his body jerked back, but had gained his footing and aimed his weapon at her in a heartbeat. She pulled her arm back to throw another rock when the fourth person in the group tackled her from the left. “No!” she screamed, as she struggled to get away from the woman who held her down. “You must kill me!”
The woman heard her, but she continued to hold onto her until the Jaffa came and aimed his staff weapon at her head. “Kill me!” she demanded, “The beast will take over and I will soon become a complete slave to it. Kill me!”
“What beast?” the leader asked, as he came over and pulled her from the woman’s grasp.
“I think she means the Goa’uld, Jack,” said the man who had tried to reason with the beast earlier. “It must not be strong enough to hold total control over her.”
“Like what happened to Kawalski?” the leader asked, as he stared at her.
“It must be an infant symbiote,” the Jaffa said, still aiming the primed staff weapon at her. “It appears to have limited control over the host.”
“Ya think?” the leader said.
“Sir,” said the woman who had tackled her earlier. “May I?” The leader nodded and the woman continued, “My name is Sam,” she said, pointing at herself, “And this is Daniel, Colonel O’Neill and Teal’c. What’s your name?”
“I am called Nalia,” she told Sam, as she ignored the angry whispers of the beast. The dire warnings the beast threatened her with meant nothing to her, she didn’t plan to be around long enough for the beast to do anything.
“Hello Nalia,” the one called Daniel said with a smile. He held his hand out to her in a gesture of friendship, but she didn’t want their friendship. She wanted death, and she was determined she would get it.
She still had a rock in her hand and she savored the smoothness of it before suddenly drawing back her arm and throwing it at the nearest person, who happened to be Daniel. He saw it coming and ducked to avoid it. She screamed in rage and resorted to running at him, fully intending to hurt him or anyone else who got in her way. She needed them to kill her. Why wouldn’t they shoot her?
Daniel took a step back, and she was lifted off the ground when Jack put his arms around her waist to stop her attack. Her rage was fueled by desperation though, and she kicked and struggled with all her might, feeling a rush as she heard Jack grunt in pain when her heel connected with his shin.
He didn’t let her go though and her struggle continued with a renewed spurt of anger. Didn’t they understand? They were slaves just as she was, why wouldn’t they help her? “Please,” she begged, as the tears began to fall down her cheeks. “Please kill me before it gains enough strength to take over completely. Please!”
“We can help you,” Daniel said. He had come to stand in front of her, as Jack released his hold on her and she watched him warily, wishing she could believe him, knowing full well that she couldn’t. “We know some people who could help you.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “It will win. They always win. Please!” The beast was angry, taunting her with words, promising triumph while writhing inside her neck to cause her pain in order to punish her. She tried to ignore the pain, but she knew the only way to get rid of a lifetime of pain and anguish was to destroy the very being that had taken up residence in her mind.
“We can help, I promise,” Daniel repeated. They weren’t going to help her, she could tell. She could understand the Jaffa’s reluctance, as he would not want to jeopardize his position with a future god, but the slaves should be happy to help her. They knew the life she was destined to live now that the Goa’uld had taken her as a host and she couldn’t understand their reluctance to do her bidding.
“How is it you were taken as a host by an infant Goa’uld?” the Jaffa asked, his weapon still pointed at her. This fact caused her to rethink the Jaffa’s position. He seemed to consider the others his equal and he did tell her beast that it was a false god. Perhaps the Jaffa would be the one to kill her.
“I was one of the people from my village that had been chosen to be a host,” she answered, her mind working on finding a solution to her problem. “We were being led away, but the men from the rebellion attacked in an effort to free us. The Jaffa who was holding my arm was killed and his symbiote took possession of my body to save its own life.” She stopped speaking for a moment, reliving the horror she felt when the symbiote burrowed its way into her neck. “The rebels are from my village,” she continued with a frown, as she remembered pleading with them to kill her. “They have known me all my life and wouldn’t honor my pleas. I begged them, but they wouldn’t help me.” The tears she cried now were from the pain of the betrayal of her so-called friends. She had gotten on her knees to beg, only to be looked upon with pity.
“You can come with us,” Sam said, her eyes filled with kindness and concern, but Nalia didn’t believe her. The Goa’uld had lived among them for centuries; no one had ever been saved from becoming a host. The beast confirmed this thought with its own conviction of her beliefs. She heard the beast’s urgent whispers and thoughts, she just chose to ignore them. She had her own ideas on how to win this battle within.
“You can not help me,” Nalia replied quietly. The beast seemed to be screaming at her to step back and let it take over, but she knew what that meant. Instead, she made the decision to act aggressively before the beast within her gained enough strength to take her away from her salvation.
She turned her attention to the Jaffa, feeling his hatred seeping into her. He would be the one to kill her, she decided, as she advanced on him. He was a Shol’vah, a Jaffa who had built his life serving his god only to turn on that god for whatever reasons. There must be a lot of hatred for the Goa’uld in the man for him to turn on his god.
The Jaffa stood his ground as she advanced on him, determination pushing her to keep on walking. “Stop,” he said, as he aimed his weapon at her again.
‘Stop’, the beast demanded, as it struggled harder to gain control, but Nalia kept moving, ignoring the pain in her head. She knew that it was only a matter of time before the beast was back in charge. Death was her only option.
“Stop,” Daniel said, as he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She turned in his arms, grabbing at the weapon she had seen in the holster strapped to his leg.
“Daniel, watch out!” Jack shouted, as he aimed his own gun at her. She stared at him, as she stepped back from them all, then aimed and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened, but this didn’t stop her. She continued to back up from them, pressing on a lever that clicked, then aiming and pulling the trigger again, jumping a little when the weapon went off. The bullet barely missed Jack, but she really wasn’t out to kill him anyway, despite the beast’s urgings. She just wanted him to think she was.
“Put the gun down,” Jack said, as he and his friends aimed their own weapons at her. She just shook her head at him, as she backed up a few more steps. She couldn’t let them get near enough to take the gun away from her. She stopped moving and took careful aim at Jack, who was watching her warily. Why wouldn’t they shoot her?
“We can help you,” Jack promised. “Just put the gun down so that…” He didn’t get to finish his sentence because she pulled the trigger once more. She missed again, then smiled with determination as the beast snarled at her in anger. She would kill their leader. Surely they would retaliate if she killed their leader. She took careful aim and pulled the trigger one last time just as Jack pulled the trigger of his own weapon. She stared at him, as she felt the pain blossom in her chest, while the beast screamed in rage inside her head. She tried to convey her gratitude during the last few minutes of her life, but she couldn’t be sure if he knew.
“Thank you,” she whispered against the raging sounds ringing in her mind. Thank you.